I started my career as a professional dancer, but a chronic injury forced me to say goodbye to that world. My sense of design brought me - through Artemis, a fashion and styling Academy - to the fashion world around 2010 and it wasn't long before I started working as a designer for an international fashion company. Several followed. A conversation in 2016 with the owner of a well known fashion recruitment company in the Netherlands (HTNK) gave my CV an unexpected turn. From designer to Fashion Recruiter. Guiding creatives to a new step in their career turned out to fit me like a glove.
And yet in 2021 I ended up in a burnout. And not just any burnout. I ended up in the burnout of burnouts. 'The show must go on' had always been my motto. But my body said 'no', not anymore. My wings broke off, my world came crashing down. I ended up in a dark tunnel of illness and sadness.
I had to change my life
It ended up being a huge wake-up call that transformed my life. I turned myself inside out and went deep. I suffered from psychotic episodes and depression. It's still a work in progress. We are in such transforming times, where we all have to take a good look at our ways of living. As humans we are ever evolving. And if you are not willing to change, you might end up in a burnout too. Just like me.
In the year before my burnout I worked as a coach in Amsterdam, with a focus on career coaching. Since my burnout, I focus much more on the aspect of 'well-being'. If we want to prevent the ever-increasing numbers of burnouts, it is simply crucial to monitor/cultivate the balance between mental and physical well-being. Fashion is an industry that I love to this day. But I had to say goodbye to it, for my own health. I grieved for the loss of both my dance and fashion career. I felt like a complete failure. I asked myself, who am I, without all these labels and identities? And did I really still wanted to participate in those worlds. The true and answer to that, was No. So I gradually I picked myself up, and started building on a new life. With a new direction. Again, but this time with a different mindset. Living and choosing from the heart. Choosing Me. Over anyone and anything else.
My personal journey ultimately made me into the person I am today. I went into hell, and came out different. Not necessarily stronger, but softer. As someone who is more in tune with her feelings and emotions, and shows all of them. Not pushing them away anymore, in order to fit in, in order to stray "strong" and just carry on, like everyone else seems to do. As someone who knows her own strength and weaknesses, and makes her own autonomous decisions. Unapologetically.
Clichés are so true... My burnout brought me a lot. I now fully trust my intuition and let my inner compass guide me. A 'No' is a 'No'.
I have slowly pulled myself out of the fast pace of life, allowing myself to slow down. I replaced "working hard" for "working soft". Following the natural pace and divine timing of something bigger then we can grasp with our small minds. I've learned to Trust, and to relax in the proces of surrendering into this new way of being.
I build a tiny-house in the South of France for myself, a place where I can wind down, feel connected to myself and nature again. And I created a little retreat. Specially for you.
I want to offer women a safe space, where they get to experience this soft and gentle energy too. From Go-mode to Flow-mode. Don't we all crave for more time-off, peace in our mind? But how do you create this life? All the beautiful women I speak to show me again and again that we already have all the answers within us.
If you surround yourself with stillness and nature. The answers will come.
Do you feel moved by all of this? And would you like to live more in tune with your natural inner-guide too? Your soul knows the way. If you dare to listen to the whispers of the universe. It makes life more effortless. This Earth ride isn't an easy one, but together we can help ease each-others pain and struggles. My wish is to offer you a place where you can experience how it is to feel connected to yourself, to nature, and all that is again.
Are you in need for some Me-Time, take some time-off, have a time-out and tune-in?
I've been to the mountain and back...
Nobody ends up in a burnout because of one factor. Both my private and professional life have been a rollercoaster. Extremely demanding clients in combination with infertility and a fertility trajectory, hormone pills that made me depressed and a - as far as I'm concerned - failing health system where every problem that arose was solved with a new pill that caused a new problem. I lost faith in the medical route, dropped out of the fertility journey and found my own path to healing. By adjusting my lifestyle, taking more time for myself, changing my diet and taking a closer look at my stress factors, I finally overcame my 'incurable' hormonal PCOS syndrome and regained my fertility. A wonderful gift, but my relationship did not survive the turbulence. In a span of a few months I lost everything I had, my partner, my house and my full time job. My foundation was gone and my burnout finished it off.